DID I STUTTER?!?!

Long Time No See

2007-01-31T19:31:33Z

Wow, so I haven't posted here for about 8 years. Ok, more like last september, but I've kept you up to date in my myspace blog. So, what to talk about? Well, I should be at work right now, but I think I'm gonna come in a little late today. I needed a few seconds to breath SOMETIME this week. I usually get up around 7:30 or 8:00 AM every day and I don't stop moving/thinking/working until around 1:00 AM. No joke. Barely any breaks to breath at all. That's why I'm going into work a little late. I had to listen to a little music.

I think I like LJ better than myspace. Mainly because I only have about 30 or 40 friends on this. It seems more private than myspace.

I have come to a realization though. I'm sick of worrying what people think of me (considering recent, and very malicious events that have just happened in my life). I was just watching a special on VH1 the other day during lunch and I realized that all these people who are talking about me, or are trying to consistently "put me down" is pointless to think about. They're kind of like the tabloids. If my friends are foolish enough to believe it, than they really weren't good friends to begin with, so it shouldn't bother me. Because that's all that matters to me. Having those people I know and love by my side. My closest friends and my family. The tabloids can say what ever they want about me. I could care less if you're my friend or not. It's your loss if you're that stupid to believe what is said about me... hahahaha. I think I've learned this lesson a lot in my life, but it's hard not to get wrapped up in it. Especially when some one takes deep, personal attacks on your character and morals. Especially when it comes from someone you thought you could truly trust for the rest of your life. Ah well, life sucks and then I win... haha

All right, I need to shower and go to work. Peace!

OK GO!

2006-09-16T19:22:46Z

I love coming home for a day or two every week! It's like a little vacation that's 15 minutes away from college... aahhh...

Last Night- Hung out with Josh, Keeley, and Joy (and NO we are NOT together.. hehe, we're just hanging out... it's ok to be friends with ex's you know! welcome to the 21st century). We played some hardcore Mario Party. Then we watched Starship Troopers (ps- officially one of my favorite movies ever).

Tonight- BYOB party at Keeley's. Her parents are gone for the weekend, so that'll be super sweet

Tomorrow- Going down to IU to visit Emily. We plan on working out and play'n some soccer, then Colts game vs Houston.. heeeeeellll yes!

***Yeah, Joy and I decided to be just friends (for those of you out of the loop). When I look back on the past few weeks I realized that we weren't even really "together"... We both just felt like we were friends hanging out, you know? It just didn't feel like a relationship. We get along really well, which is nice. But the romantic side of it just isn't there anymore. And I didn't feel like I could commit to a relationship with her for a lot of reasons.... they mainly have to do with some personal issues with me that I haven't dealt with yet.

*****WoW, I really love being single. It's pretty nice. Especially since I'm so busy all the time. And I've made a decision that I will NEVER date inside my department ever again (unless I find the "one" of course). It's just a foolish thing to do. I don't want the place where I feel passionate, creative, and at peace to be soiled again by something like that. I lucked out on my last relationship because I feel like we're cool and she's busy doing her own thing in the comm department. And it feels good to know that she's happy :). I hope she knows how truly happy I am for her.

*****On that same note, however, I wouldn't mind finding a nice girl for once... Not to say that my other girlfriends weren't "nice". But, you know what I mean though right? Just a nice, simple girl. I've never had just a nice, simple girl. It's the one type I never tried I guess. And I feel like I've turned into a nice, simple guy. So it'll work out nicely. So dream girl, if your out there, give me a ring.

ps- My brother already made Corporal after 3 months. So WATCH OUT!

pps- I really need to find a scene partner for Irene Ryan's. I'm not sure exactly what my scenes are gonna be, I'm not going to worry about that until I have a damn scene partner. I keep forgeting to ask people. Maybe I should get ontop of that?

ppps- LIFE IS GOING GREAT!!! AAAAHHHHAAAAAA WOOOSAA HAAAA!

pppps- Funny story. So me, Kirby, and Lucas were putting some new subwoofers into the studio (after we asked Jim Ream, of course) and we were playing the music really loud. And Jeffrey Barnes comes running into the studio with the most PISSED OFF face I have ever seen him make. He starts screaming "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!" and Lucas and I are just staring at him smiling until Kirby finally brings the music down and says "It's ok, Jim said we could"... and as soon as Jeffrey heard "Jim" his pissed off face just melted and he said "oh, ok.."... lol, awesome... Jim IS God.

Love Always,
Jeffrey

Whoa now doggy... whooaaa

2006-09-15T15:36:13Z

So Becca is officially the best beer pong player ever... Apparently she's never played before, but last night she scored more than half of our cups for our team. Yeah... played 5 times.. and we won each time. Mainly because she's amazing. lol

-Jeffrey-

BORED

2006-09-13T17:16:17Z

WoW, I have a lot of energy... I'm sitting and waiting for my field experience class... BORED!... Ok, so the fire alarm went off in my dorm this morning at 4 AM!!!! WTF IS UP WITH THAT... I didn't even remember it when I woke up this morning. It was bad too cause I didn't even hear the alarm at all, John had to wake me up, lol.

-Becca turned in her app. for Stage Crew today... woo hoo for hotties working under me (if you catch my drift).

-We had a sweat, sweat ice cream relay last night in my quad. Yeaaaahhh... Ice cream went everywhere. John and I helped our RA clean up and he took us out to eat that night as pay.

-Why is Jim Ream so cool? Any takers?

-Barnes loved the idea that Lucas and I came up with so hopefully that'll happen soon.

-Oh yeah, yesterday we had our first manager meeting and Jeffrey opened by telling us we're the best group of manager's that he's ever had. Hell yes we are! Why? Because we work even when we're not supposed to AND each of us has already majorly improved the theatre in one way or another... and it's only the 2nd week of classes... We're a bunch of craaaazy mofo's!... But I guess we could never be better than Jess, even with all of our powers combined. But she's a God in human form, so she's in a class all by herself.

-Wow, it's 10 after and our class hasn't started yet... oh well.

-Speaking of work, I've got shit I gotta do, so let's move along professor!

-I wish somebody in our XWA group was nicknamed professor... Maybe Josh?

-Hooray for going to the gym when I get out of work!

-Boooo for doing homework after that!

uh oh, g2g! hehe

Love Always,
Jeffrey

Smashing it

2006-09-11T18:56:19Z

-Just finished errands and a bunch of homework... and now I'm starting to feel sick again.. that's why I wasn't in office hours today guys, sorry :(

Wow, all the shit that's happened over the past week has just hit me like a ton of bricks today. I don't know why it finally hit me today, it's really strange. When everything happened I just... I guess I was in shock, cause every day it was something huge that affected my life. One day my dog dies, the next my bro and I have a huge fight, day after that my girlfriend and I break up, day after that I got sick, and now today it's sept. 11. I'm just so mentally exhausted. I don't even know how I'm still able to keep myself together from all of that..... Ok, I'm not gonna lie, but this morning I was watching Animal Planet and there was a guys dog (only 1 year old) that was hit by a car. The dog was in the emergency room and the dogs internal bleeding wouldn't stop. And the Doctor said "We've done all we can do, but he's not going the way we want him to... We can put him down for you so he isn't in anymore pain" and the guy started crying and said "put him down". And then I started crying. I'm just glad John wasn't in the room or he'd of felt really awkward... and I would have felt like a pansy. hehe.

-So far this week is looking up though. Minimal amounts of homework, lots of work to do though. Lucas and I came up with this plan to overhaul all the theatre spaces. Make them all neat and orderly. You know, do all the maintenance that hasn't been done for like 4 years. No big deal :).

-Yeah! I have Jim Ream cleaning and throwing out things. I never thought it could be done, but it's happening! :)

-I'm excited to visit Emily this weekend and work out with her... that'll be fun... nice and sweaty... I miss my workout buddy, it's just not the same with out her.

-For some reason people have been telling me I'm a cool guy lately... I never considered myself to be "cool" before, but you know, now that I think about it... I feel like a "cool guy".

-Tonight we have an ice cream relay thing at my dorm... I'm pretty excited, I just hope that I'm not feeling sick tonight.

-I miss chappo and his ridiculous hijinks :(

Love Always,
Jeffrey

Classic Chappo

2006-09-10T17:33:12Z

AirTrooper: what are you doing online???
chappy455: having sex
chappy455: gosh
AirTrooper: lol
chappy455: hahahaha
chappy455: actually doing homework
chappy455: what are you doing online?????
AirTrooper: yeah... like you said.... having sex
chappy455: jolly good
chappy455: BRILLIANT!!!!

I think he's turning more british by the minute....

G2G... going to go watch The Guys with Becca and her friend :)

Love Always,
Jeffrey

Don't get trashed anymore... ok?

2006-09-10T03:57:57Z

So I've decided I'm not getting drunk anymore... I know that sounds strange for me to say (especially since I hang out with Lucas), but I'm tired of it. I can't handle it anymore. I mean, I slept ALL saturday (which I'm sure it was just because I was exhausted from the week before, but I know the drinking didn't help). I feel like I wasted a whole day of my life doing that you know? I mean, I'll still hang out with everyone and drink socially, but I don't want to drink hard liquor anymore..... And I'm sick of passing out and people messing with me, haha... So.. ya.. Plus I called Becca and left her the most idiotic message ever... It was 3 minutes long and all I said was "I'm holding a cute weiner dog", "I'm single", and "I hope you had fun at the concert"... and i just kept repeating those 3 things.. hahahaha.. I'm awesome.

-Today I went to the Greek festival downtown with Becca, Emma, and Owen. It was all right, but they just had a million food stands and some dancing... So we got bored and I took everyone to the Greek Hookah bar (which everyone loved).

-I feel a lot better being single... I don't know why, I just hate that stress of being in a relationship currently... it's just not worth it right now unless I meet "the one". I also really hate how my status has to be a huge part of my life, you know? I feel like I have (as well as a bunch of people) highlighted that part of my life lately and I'm really just exhausted from it.

-Becca is going to join my stage crew :). I'm really excited because she's a fun girl who isn't a theatre major. So I'll get to teach someone all the theatre stuff I know. And she's REALLY excited to learn, lol. And it's not that I don't like other theatre majors... in fact, I love them... But it's nice to have someone who isn't a major be genuinly interested.

-I'm listening to a new My Chemical Romance song and I really like it.

-I decided that I'm buying my mom a new dog for xmas.

-Jim Ream is still my favorite person in the world

-Jeffrey Barnes is still hilarious

-I miss Gizmo

-I think I might be going to IU next weekend... I'm not sure yet... but I really want to get sweaty with Emily again, LoL...hehe...

Love Always,
Jeffrey

Quickie

2006-09-08T15:56:04Z

My class is about to start... But thanks to those who talked to me about Giz. I know I'm not a very open guy about very personal stuff, but thanks to those who tried to pry it out of me, lol. Especially my Education for Special Needs teacher. She felt so bad that she told me she understood if I didn't come to class next time.. haha, awesome.

Love Always,
Jeffrey

Gone

2006-09-07T20:39:40Z

Gizmo was put down Wednesday... don't wanna talk about it.

I'm so tired of being here
Surpressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave,
I wish that you would just leave
your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone

Double Damn it (the list version)

2006-09-04T16:44:32Z

Top 10 things that annoy the f*ck out of Jeffrey (in order):

10) Shitty drivers
9) Getting/being sick
8) Crying babies in a confined space
7) People who have themselves convinced that they're better than other people.
6) Slackers (especially people who say they've done a lot more than they do/ever have)
5) Regular Assholes (people who are just all around assholes)
4) People who don't look outside the box. You know, the ones who see their point of view and refuse to negotiate and/or see anothers point of view.
3) Cheating (anything from cheating on your significant other to cheating during games)
2) Someone purposely being an asshole just to be an asshole to me or my friends. You know, people who egg you on to get you mad.
1) Lying to me

Yeah, and the top 5 things have all hit me at least once this weekend... I think I'm claiming this as the most...annoying...weekend...EVER (hence the list)!

Things that I wish/am praying for:

-I wish I didn't forget my bible at my dorm for 2 reasons:
1) I have christianity readings due next week
2) I miss it

-I wish people weren't close minded for 4 reasons:
1) I found out that it's a lot less stressful to be open minded
2) A lot more people like you
3) There's less drama
4) It's a lot more fun

-I feel bad for some of my friends and I wish a few were 3 things:
1) I wish they were less angry
2) I wish they would smile more often
3) I wish they would be a little more kind

-I'm praying that my dog is OK for 3 reasons
1) He really is a nice dog... to the ones he likes...
2) He smells nice from time to time
3) He protects us from the evil lawn mower man when he comes to visit

And finally,
-I'm wishing my life doesn't change very much for the bad for 5 reasons
1) I love everyone in my life right now
2) My life at school is moving along amazingly
3) My family is being pretty great
4) There's no one I even come close to really hating
5) I enjoy every day that I'm and everyone else is alive.

Love Always,
Jeffrey

"you gotta take a little dirt to keep what you love"

Wow

2006-09-04T04:19:56Z

Jeez, my horoscope strikes again yesterday (as usual)...

Someone with a narrow point of view could misinterpret your actions. Let's face it -- some people are just happier when they have something to complain about. Get on with your own life.

Aaaaaaand, that basically describes like 5 different situations from yesterday. Very comforting...

Haha.. people are funny!

2006-09-03T19:59:35Z

It's hilarious to me how hypocritical some people are in my life right now. It's always fun when people say they hate something, but they're the ones who are doing the things they hate to others... haha, "stupid people doing stupid stuff with other stupid people"

-In other news, I ended up going to Chappo's party last night (even though I was sick) and it was alotta fun! Keeley was a huge fool and said she could keep up with me (drinking). It wasn't a very happy ending for her :(. At least her costume was awesome. OH, Chappo and I were the beer pong champions woo hoo! And the bounce house was AMAZING!

-It's so nice not to have any "beef" with anyone, you know? Ahhh, drama free is the way to be :). It's also fun meeting a bunch of new people for once. And I feel like I'm remeeting people I already knew... if that makes sense... oh well, it does to me.

-I love Jim Ream and Jeffrey Barnes and I think we're all going to become best friends...haha... and no I'm not joking. We had a huge long talk the other day (like, 2 hours at least) and it was just incredible. I really feel good for our department and I finally feel like it's on the right track. Even the underclassmen are getting ontop of things. I have huge plans to improve how things work here and I'm just happy that everyone, at least everyone who is important, is trying really hard to do the same thing. I even convinced Jim to go through boxes of junk and throw things out for once... haha. Ah yes, finally the hard working people are in the right roles to improve this place! I'm just so honored to be working with the people who know that it's time for some good changes here, and they all know that it's not about it being better RIGHT NOW, but making it better for future generations of students.

-I made Brad's show! Yeaaahh! I'm Roy... and Lucas is my brother! HAHA! OOOOH MAN! That's going to be A LOT of fun!

-I keep forgetting that I have an Irene Ryan and I have to find a partner and scenes...... shit.... Oh, yeah, I'll make Becca be my partner.. lol. That would be fun.

-I'm so lucky that I have amazing friends :)... enough said

-Today was a lot of fun too. Me and Joy played Andy and Sasha in a bunch of games like Bolderdash and Apples to Apples. That was super good time!

-PS: some of my "friends" are huge fools. I don't understand how you can go back with someone who was a huge, unbelievable jerk to you. I can't respect that.

Well, enough of my random thought post, I'm gonna go get some mexican.

Love Always,
Jeffrey

You know that person...

2006-08-30T20:32:55Z

Personal/Deep Note:

I don't think (no matter how hard I try, or how much I want to) I'll be able to understand some people. I can't figure out how people can just... I don't know... disregard others? I guess that's a good way to put it... Like write them off as a label and just flat out believe what people tell them about others. It just doesn't click for me why people do that. I've always thought that you can never believe exactly what someone says... Not to say that I don't believe what someone will tell me, or that I don't listen, or anything like that... I just don't take other peoples opinions and use them as my own. I try and take in someones opinion and use that to help analyze my own experiences and I use their opinions as tools to help me better understand something. I mean, look at history. History has been written by the "winners". And there is no way to know exactly what happened because everyone has their own OPINION. Plus you can't disregard the fact that a lot of people lie. That's why it's hard for me to comprehend the shit some people believe... especially if it's about someone they know. I personally think that everyone deep down is good, but they get clogged up with the bad from time to time. And everyone has their low points (hell, I know I have). OH and PS- aren't you supposed to love thy neighbor?... Well, I love you for being here, so if you don't want to make that effort, it's OK. I'm still going to smile just to see... EVERYone every day!.. and yes, that includes YOU :) ! I'm just getting very deep so I'm going to stop my rant right now.. lol

-My job is amazing! Haha, I know I write that probably EVERY time I post.. but, it's the truth.. I just like reposting it!

-I feel very... peaceful.. it's so strange. Even if there are some people in my life right now that just don't "get it", I feel like a whole new person. I feel so alive. I've never felt this in my entire life. I'm so.. POSITIVE!!! LoL.. Even Joy told me last night that she was just in "aw" about how much I've changed... She just couldn't believe who I was. She said and I roughly quote "Your new... A whole new person and the person you've become is such a breath of fresh air compared to everyone else. You're full of confidence and positive attitude... and you're contagious". It's one of, if not THE, best compliments I have ever been given.

-gloating done.... hehehe-

-Every day I feel closer to God. I really need to find a church where I can worship too. I used to believe that I would better serve God out and about in the real world and not cooped up in a church for 2 or 3 hours... But now I have this feeling like I really need to go to show my appreciation for Him, you know? And I feel like it would be a much better and greater place to pray. So, if anyone knows any good churches where I could go and talk to a priest or at least a place where I could pray, let me know! I'm not sure if I'm up for an actual service yet, but just a place I could go on my time to pray. PS- I'm Christian

I should go.. I need to eat and I left my backpack somewhere and I don't want it to get stolen...haha.. so... I really hope everyone is doing great, and if not then don't be afraid to come talk to me! ;)

Love Always,
Jeff

Sooo..

2006-08-28T15:29:27Z

Sooooo... am I a bad person if I like John Cena's rap? I'm listening to it right now... and I'm feel'n it.. lol.

Here's what's up with me:

- I'm REALLY excited for school... ok, I've only had one class (christianity) but I'm still excited... and I found out that I have 3 of my classes with Sami... sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet... It's our destiny to be the cool group! Fate has sppoookeeennn!

- Woo Hoo, I get to see Joy tomorrow night for date night! YEAH!

- I'm a little nervous for auditions.. mainly because I still have to memorize my monologue.... Starting that tonight...

- So I still have only met 1 of my other 6 roommates... I feel like a huge jerk but I haven't had time to be there... I've slept in my room and other than that I've probably spent a grand total of about 30 minutes in my room. Oh well, they'll get used to it. It's not like we even have anything in our quad... ya, it's a little embarrasing... soooo no one come and visit me to hang out at my dorm cause it won't be that fun, lol.

- I have a feeling that being auditorium manager is going to be awesome :). It is so far.

- I miss my Carmel friends... has anyone heard from Josh yet?.. I called him about a week ago and he STILL hasn't called me back

- I'm really excited for Chappo's party this saturday. I'm going to be Francisco Scaramanga (Man with the Golden Gun)... I should make Manny come and be Knicknack

The End

Love Always,
Jeffrey

"I'm untouchable but I'm force'n you to feel me" - John Cena

Great Times.... literally...

2006-08-26T17:39:07Z

Let's see here... what's been goin on?

Yesterday: Worked a little for my parents, organized some more college stuff and loaded it up. Moved about 3/4 of my stuff into my dorm. And for some reason all of my roommates are really short... I know EVERYONE is usually shorter than me... but these guys are REALLY short.. and small... imagine a bunch of guys Ilya's height running around... But they seemed cool. After that I went to the student manager meeting with the freshmen... Not bad, they seemed into it. I'm just glad our meeting wasn't as lame as some of the past years. After that a bunch of us went to great times with 1.. yes... 1 freshman... oh well, he was cool. He seemed like he had a ball with us though. And he wasn't even a theatre major.. He's Elementary Education but he was interested in theatre. He was a lot of fun though. We were there for like 3 hours. And let me tell ya, we had a GREAT time, haha. After that drove home and hung out with my girl. We watched Child's Play and some family guy. And I think we fell asleep for like 3 hours until she woke up and went home. Then I went to sleep.

Yep, there's my day. So all you crazy stalkers out there are happy, hehe.

I still haven't decided if I'm excited about school yet. I know I'm excited about my job, starting up theatre again, and meeting some new people. But I'm not sure about the actual school part yet. Basically because I'm taking Drama AND Theatre History (two of the most difficult theatre classes @ uindy) at the same time. At least they're on different days. And my computer is still being a little strange. Hopefully I'll be able to fix it when I get to school.

I didn't realize how much I REALLY MISSED everyone until I saw them all again. I guess I was just so busy over the summer I never really had much time to deal with that. I even missed Ryan O. I forgot how funny she was, lol.

I'm also really excited about theatre this year because it doesn't feel like there are any big "groups" anymore... OH YEAH, SAMI! Remember, we do have to make the new "cool" group! So let's get started on that! lol

Love Always,
Jeffrey

What's been goin on?

2006-08-24T19:49:46Z

Woo boy, what a busy ass week. Here's what's been happen'n

Earlier in the week: Manager meetings and working

Yesterday: Helped run a convo with Alissa, worked, manager meeting, celebrated Joy's bday then we went down to Sam's and drank with everyone! It was so nice to see everyone again! It's really good to hear that they all loved Joy too. I can't remember how many times Karla said "I LOVE this girl, where'd you find her?". And Karla and Sami fighting over who was going to be her bestfriend was funny.

Today: Got up super early (only got 2 hours of sleep) and worked/ran convo's for 6 or 7 hours. Then drove home. WOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Yaaaa, I REALLY like my job. 2 reasons 1) I love theatre, and 2) I get free stuff. However I am freaking out because I got my first e-mail from the lady who is in charge of student affairs and I can't open the zip file she sent me on my computer..... so I'm hoping the school computers will let me :(

O wait, just got it to work.. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall riiiiiiiiiiiiiight!

Ya, so my life really isn't that boring.... I'm just a lot more exciting in person I think. Oh yeah, me and the rest of the student managers get to meet all the freshmen tomorrow. I made a sweet, sweet trophy for the winner of a game that we made up. Yaaa... I'm a little jealous of the trophy... I want it... oh well..

Love Always,
Jeff

So it's finally over....

2006-08-20T17:14:39Z

Ah summer... it's gone... It just hit me while I was getting stuff organized for school... So I decided to make a list of my Top 10 favorite moments/memories of this summer... These are in no particular order because I couldn't make an order of what I liked most out of these things but these are the things that I know I'll never forget:

- The Invisible 10 dollar bets. Mainly Chappo chasing a 10 year old down the street with a medieval sword. That was AMAZING! Oh.. and throwing a dead fish at chappo... haha.. FOOL!

- All the parties we had. I remember them all. Everything from strip apples to apples with dana, jen, emily, ricky, me, ilya and chappo (I know, more guys than girls.... I blame Ishmael and poor planning, thoughts?) to getting drunk at Alex's and having quality guy time in the hot tub while the stupid hot high school girls were too afraid to hang out with the college guys. Man, best parties ever!

- My birthday camping trip. I loved every second of that camping trip. I loved how my carmel friends and uindy friends came. I even loved Ranger Roy... he was my favorite. It definately was a great trip :) How about we do it again next year but for like a whole week? And we'll actually go backpacking and junk... I know ricky will be up for it.

- Becca's farm. That was probably the most talking I've done the whole summer. I felt like the whole trip we both didn't stop talking. She's one of those rare people that I get along with REALLY well. Plus I went off roading. Sweet :)

- Lucas' Lake. Yeah, even though Ricky ran over my jeep door, I still had one of the best nights of my life. Beer pong, midgets, and naked women... what more can I guy ask for? Plus we met Don... haha

- Greece. That came right at the greatest possible moment in my life. Just when I was in the middle of getting over things and ready to explore new possibilities. Greece was just..... perfect... every moment... there wasn't one thing I would have done differently. It was pure magic. Plus I made some "non-theatre" major friends at uindy. And they're hot, so I'm happy.. haha

- Setting up the ring and doing a wrestling show again. It was incredible. Just to pull that Beast outfit out, put on the belt, and my crazy contacts.... There's nothing like hearing all the girls screaming about how scary I am. But they still cheered for me for some reason... I guess I was hotter or something.. sorry ricky, I tried but we had more girls than guys there... But really though, that was a great experience and it keeps my WWE dream alive. If I was able to get myself into great shape by the time I got out of college... who knows?! Maybe, I think I would have a shot since I'm 6'5 and I feel like I can create great characters... if not there's always my original dream of being the Talent Director.

- Getting into even BETTER shape. I've really stepped up a lot from last summer. I look amazing (if I do say so myself)... well, I'm not where I want to be yet, but I feel like I'm "right on schedule". I've really built up a solid foundation for some major heavy lifting schedules this year. By the end of next summer I know I'll be right where my end goal of "getting in shape and looking it" is. Thanks to Emily for getting me into your gym and working out with me and junk. That was a lot of fun. It was nice to have someone who can keep up with me for once and didn't pansy out and I know you feel the same way ;). I'm gonna miss you kid, and I hope your ready for some visitation from me and Joy. OH, and don't forget, (schedule pending) I will totally drive you up to the party at Chappo's! PS, let's do the gym thing again NEXT summer.. sound good? GOOD!

- Saving people... I know, that sounds really strange... But there were a lot of times where I either got a call or an IM from someone and they either needed someone to talk to, or they needed me to drive all the way downtown to pick'em up and drive'em home because their car broke down, or helping them find something they needed. It felt good to drop everything I was doing to go help a friend. I just hope those people see what I did for them and pay it forward, you know?

- Getting one of my bestfriends back. I was worried for a long time that she would hate me forever for something that I didn't even do and her bestfriend convinced her that I did. It feels good not to have any "enemies" anymore (at least ones I actually care about)... if you hate me COME FORWARD AND SAY IT! LoL. Oh well... But ya, that's a huge load off my mind :)

Well, that's it, 10 of my greatest memories/moments from this summer. I would like to say that this was the BEST summer I have EVER had. It really was incredible. It changed my life and I know it changed a lot of other people too. I'm gonna miss you XWA guys a lot... especially ricky... It's going to be hard going from seeing you almost EVERY day to only once a month.... damn.... Oh well... LOVE YOU! lol

Love Always,
Jeff

Top 3 favorite quotes from me this summer:

"ATOMIC BOMB!!!! EVER SEEN ONE?! BRIGHT AS HELL!!!" - Me Playing Apples to Apples

"DEAN CAIN'S MY BITCH!" - Me drunk as fuck at Dana's

"Whoa.... that... was.... aawwweeesssoommmeee" - Me right after ricky drove over my jeep door (no, I was NOT drunk; that's what was so amazing about it... My attitude about things has changed).

Top 3 favorite quotes from my friends this summer:

"I'm so happy my friends are good looking. That's the only reason I hang out with you Jeff."- Dave (only a little drunk)

"FAT!!" - Becca screaming at an overweight pigeon (not drunk what so ever)

"...this is God pushing you, now he's waiting for you to push back." - Ricky

Advice

2006-08-20T00:50:28Z

Always face the fear head on. If you don't, how will you ever know what's on the otherside? Nothing can clear the smoke like your own courage. So face your demons, here and now. If you don't, you have not only failed yourself, but God as well.

Very... Interesting....

2006-08-17T06:01:05Z

Today:

Got up at 10, went to Ricky's at 11 and helped him and Ilya move back to Purdue until 7:30. Then, visited with the family until 9 when my girl came over and watched Jarhead with me (ps, GREAT MOVIE; a must see)

I realized something today... I really like myself.. haha.. I love how 1/2 of my LJ posts are me saying how "great" I am... I'm ridiculous. but really though, I like the new me. I'm rougher, tougher, kinder, smarter, stronger, funnier (at least I think so), and I finally got the kinks out. Stupid past making me work hard.

I LOVE LIFE! Haha! I look back on just the past year and it's been the best year of my life. Even the bad. The bad was..... really... really bad.... Very... emotional and... almost made me crazy... OR maybe I AM crazy now? That would be so cool! But seriously though, even though the bad was pretty rough on me it changed me, in a good way... no.. in a GREAT way. I feel like I can touch the sky for once in my life... And I feel a lot closer to God than I used to be, which is REALLY great. I really feel like he's with me... especially earlier this year when I needed him the most. That's probably when I first felt it. Like he pushed me through all of these obstacles to make me better, you know. I feel like he's put me on the right path and I owe him a lot.

But I can't thank just the big guy up there! I have to thank the big guys down here. My "guides" so to speak. Mostly my XWA guys. Whether you guys know it or not, you all have helped me through points where I was stuck in a rut, or I got to a point and you helped me see something I never thought of. Some of the help was indirect and some was direct. But the important part is you really helped me out guys.. so... thanks!

I'm so grateful for my friends, my family, and my girl who I feel is the girl I've been looking for that fits the changes that I've been going through. I definately feel like it's completely different. It feels a little familiar, yet very new. And comfortable. I've never been comfortable in any of my past relationships.

But my journey... OUR journey is far from over. I finally feel like I'm on the right track for ONCE in my life. Now that I look back everything has fallen into place and I see the fate I have fallen into. And I look forward to my fate and destiny that is hidden before me. And to you Uindy people... I'll see ya soon! Peace.

Love Always,
Jeff

I have officially found the biggest scantches of all time today!

2006-08-15T22:57:17Z

Ok, so as I was coming home from the hospital from visiting my dad (still doing great by the way) I saw some people about 200 yards from my house outside their house sitting. I wasn't sure what was going on but I kept driving. Then one of the ladies starts yelling, screaming and whistling at me. Confused, and thinking maybe it was some kind of bake sale, I look over and she has a radar gun and the 3 adults that are there are all screaming at me.... Still not getting it, I look down at my spedometer and I'm only going 33 miles per hour (a mere 7 miles over the speed limit). I look back up and I see one little girl on her bike on the opposite side of the street on the side walk... When I got home and pulled in the garage I looked out the window to see that one of the adults had ran after my car and was obviously looking for it either in the street or parked at a house.....

Quandary.................

Problem 1: I wasn't speeding. Ok, yes I was going 7 over the speed limit, but do you honestly think that's REALLY speeding? Considering I was going as fast as the guy in front of me was when I entered the neighborhood. AND I've seen people going well into 40 in my neighborhood, so am I really the bad guy here?

Problem 2: I saw the little girl on her bike. I am very alert when I drive. I'm the guy who doesn't like to talk on the phone while he's driving, let alone do something dangerous in my car that could possibly hurt other people.

Problem 3: Do you really think it's a smart idea to start yelling at someone who is driving their car, possibly confusing them and distracting them from the road (aka driving well)? I think that's a much bigger risk than having someone going 7 miles over the speed limit.

Problem 4: Stop being a stupid, rich carmel house wife. Nobody cares that you can afford a radar gun and you have your buddy (who was holding a beer while he ran by the way) try and track me down afterwords. What was he gonna do, yell at me? I would have yelled at him right back. Trying to flag me down for going 33 mph in a neighborhood. And can you not really tell the difference between someone going 25 mph and 40 mph? Why don't you sell your radar gun and donate the money to a charity or something. You know, help find a cure for cancer and save millions of lives. And it's people like that I just wanna drive by again going 50 mph while flicking them off. How does that toot your horn? Oh, PS, it's not good idea to think your doing something "good" for your neighborhood with a bottle of Coors Light in your hand... just a thought

Ok, done ranting

Otherwise I had a pretty good day. Got up and worked out for a little over 2 hours, went to lunch with Emily, went to the hospital, got yelled at by some adults, then took care of my dog. Later going to Buffalo Wild Wings to chill.. PEACE

Love Always,
Jeff

PS- If I ever catch any of you people doing that shit when your older I'll make sure that I put you down quickly to end your suffering... mwa ha ha ha ha ha.

WoW... I can't think of anything more awkward....

2006-08-15T05:15:10Z

So, even though today was the most awkward day of my life, I enjoyed it... It's good to have days like these to remind you of things, you know? Here's what happened

Before the Awkwardness:

1) Got up and got super excited because I saw my abs coming in... I know, that sounds stupid, but when you can start making out the shape of your abs for the first time in your life...... it's a very special moment.... after staring in aw at myself for a while I visited my Dad at the hospital. Everything went great and he's doing fine. They don't think it's cancer either, it was a scar tissue from when his lungs were infected a while back, so the chances are very slim to none that it's anything.

2) Picked Joy up and went to the mall. Man, I haven't been there for a while and I like to shop (shit, I'm turning more gay by the minute............ oh well, I'm happy!).

BEGIN AWKWARDNESS

So Joy forgot that her exboyfriend works at the Verizon Wireless booth at castleton.... Oooooh damn, it was close to being SUPER awkward. But we ran away like sissy's. After running away, me laughing a lot (because I love awkward situations), and looking at the puppies we decide to leave... and AS we're leaving guess who walks in the door? Joy's bestfriend! Yes, the girl I had a fling with about 4 months ago (and we're on very bad terms) comes in. And BOY was THAT awkward. Especially since she didn't know we were together! Haha.. in your face scantch. It felt awkward, but good at the same time. Kind of like one of those "facing your fears" moments. The best was afterwords because I said "So, what are you going to do about her?". And she just said that she'll either have to learn to fess up to her bullshit and get along with you or not be my friend anymore. Awesome, I love my girlfriend. And I hate drama...... especially people that cause it..... YOU HEAR ME PEOPLE?? I WILL HUNT DOWN DRAMA AND PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE!

END OF AWKWARDNESS

After that we got some ice cream at this new sweet sweet ice cream place and looked at more puppies at the pet store right next to it. After that we went to Dana's and watched Raw then played some poker.

Besides the awkwardness I loved today... it was a good day.. OH and I FINALLY bought the new Goo Goo Dolls cd, and it's AMAZING! I recomend it! Goodnight CARMEL!!!

Love Always,
Jeff

Getting the Itch...

2006-08-11T17:38:52Z

So, most of you probably won't care, but I know Ricky will... Are you starting to get the Zelda itch? I don't know, I started replaying Majora's Mask last night and I REALLY need to play a new Zelda game... Maybe it's just me...

Nerdy or heroic?

2006-08-11T02:32:16Z

I was watching the Who Wants to be a Superhero show on Scifi today. When I first heard about it I thought it was a dumb idea... but the more I watch it the cooler I think it is. And no, I don't think it's cool to run around dressed up as a made up superhero. But I think it's cool how they test them on hero "qualities". Like having courage, showing compassion, having selflessness, being noble and trustworthy. I don't know, I think it's something a human being should be too, you know? Those qualities... Now, as for changing into your costume in a public place while attempting not to be seen and "keeping your secret identity a secret"... well... I don't think that applies to real life...

Life is still great. I have a feeling some people aren't happy with me for some reason still. I'm not sure, it's just a feeling. But I'm probably wrong. I'm not sure why they wouldn't be.

Joy's doing ok. She's still sick though. It was funny, she came over today and watched Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire with me, my mom, and my bro. And tonight my dad was talking to my brother and my brother said to my dad "Have you seen her or talked to her yet? She's different, it's like a completely different person. She's calmer... and she's hotter". Hahaha, I love my family :)

I'd like to quote myself while I was drunk with Ricky --- "Man, I'm so impressed with myself". Now I know I mentioned selflessness earlier, but I have to say I really am impressed with myself. Today after I got out of the gym, I felt good. Like, physically and mentally. I finally feel............... Like I've beaten down a lot of demons and I'm on top of the world. And you know how you have those days where you just feel fantastic? Now I've been feeling that way for 2 months straight. And each day I feel stronger... It's such a strange feeling, it's hard to explain. I'm just comparing myself now to the person who I used to be. And it makes me smile. I'm finally enjoying the feelings I get when I'm nice to everyone you know... Just to be logical and compassionate at the same time. And I finally feel like I'm "fun", you know?.... I've made a lot of mistakes and I know I'm going to make plenty more. But hopefully I'll be able to take what I learned this summer and keep it with me. Just stay strong, stay noble, stay honest, stay loyal, and most of all, stay kind.

Love Always,
Jeff

Classic Chappo

2006-08-10T02:32:44Z

chappy455: is everything cool?
chappy455: you doing okay?
AirTrooper: ya, everything is better, thanks buddy
chappy455: yeah...i was going to go on a road trip tomorrow
chappy455: to see you
AirTrooper: really? Where to?... lol, what?
AirTrooper: are..... are you coming on to me?
chappy455: well
chappy455: WINK!
chappy455: ssuuuurrrrreeeeee

Drama, drama, drama, drama...

2006-08-09T18:50:39Z

Man, I never thought I could ever cause so much drama! For some reason people don't like to believe that I'm just a big fool and not really a malicious bastard.... So, hopefully the people who are either confused by my actions or are pissed at me for them understand that I have NEVER had one malicious thought in my head. I'm a big boy and I can make my own decisions. And since I'm not even sure who it is who is officially "confused" and/or "pissed off" at me (since they rather write it in LJ's or talk to my friends about it and not actually, and eventually, come talk to ME) please come talk to me. That is, if you even care... because I don't until I know what the hell is going on, lol.

I know I'm a very honest person. And I will never lie to you or anyone. However, feelings change, I can't deny myself that as a human being. Things happen and my path has changed. So if you wish to even understand half of what is going on in my life, just ask. But until then I'm not going to write out a paper for you to understand my decisions. It's my life and my heart. I'm independent and I can't revolve my life around just a few people. And God has given me this path. I'm sorry if some people don't agree with that but it's something I have to follow right now. And in situations like these I get to know who my true friends are. I make decisions that don't necessarily affect them but if your my friend you don't have to understand, just be my friend and support me, because I'll support you, and have, no matter what your doing or going through right now. And I hope (if you are my friend) that your happy when I'm happy... and I am very happy right now. :)

Enough ranting... I guess I'm being a bit of a hypocrite, but at the same time you "mystery" people who are mad at me are obviously not brave enough to come up to me and ask me about it. So I really have no choice but to write it here, lol. I'm just happy enjoying my life over here being the good person that I am. So if you'd like to talk to me about it, please do. But until then I hope everyone else's lives is fantastic and if not, let's party!

Love Always,
Jeff